I’ve been trying to find the words for this post for quite some time now yet every time I tried to type I had no clue where to begin. I considered not doing it all, just moving on to the next fashion trend that caught my eye or the latest popular culture news that everyone else was talking about.
But then I started to feel like that would be a really shitty thing to do. How could I claim to be living authentically or claim to present a blog that really was reflective of my life if I didn’t REALLY reflect on my life. Yes my life includes fashion and books and essential oils and wellness but as of January 18th 2019 my life now includes the loss of my Dad. One can never be fully prepared for the loss of a parent but being able to write my Dad’s eulogy was the most important honour of my life and what better way to talk to you about him than to share some of my words from his celebration of life:
My Dad, Jim Cordes was born on Thursday April 4th 1946 in Port Dalhousie. He always found so much joy entertaining us all with tales of his adventures growing up with his younger brother Mike. My Dad’s love of the water began there and continued on throughout his life. He was always happiest at a cottage on the lake or having a beer on the dock of our family home in Harbour le Cou, Newfoundland. As a child Dad definitely had a mischievous quality that usually ended up getting him into trouble. But even has an adult this quality somehow made him more endearing to everyone that loved him.
Dad met his life partner and our amazing Mom Debbie in 1972. He was absolutely smitten with her and loved nothing more than to tell anyone that would listen just how beautiful she was. They were married in November of 1978 in St. Catharines and celebrated their 40th anniversary this past Fall. My parents were the perfect yin and yang. She was the realist to his daydreams, keeping him grounded and focused while he showed her spontaneity and indulgence. Mom and Dad loved to entertain at home. He took so much pride in the homes they created together. He had a knack for being able to fix pretty much anything, an amazing green thumb and was a genius with the barbecue.
As Dad suffered more and more physical limitations over the last couple of years it became my Mom’s turn to take over different duties around the house. Some of the best memories I have of my parents were created in the last few months of his life watching them work together to sort out these roles. Dad was an almost always patient teacher and my Mom was a brave and eager student. Every time she conquered something new I couldn’t tell who was more proud, her or my Dad. Mom also took on the role of my Dad’s caregiver. She was always tolerant and encouraging and to the very end made sure my Dad was comforted and secure and safe.
My Dad loved to be a Dad. He was fiercely protective of his girls and like Mom, thought we were the most beautiful things in the world. That was one of Dad’s best qualities. He gave his admiration and love so freely. He never held back from being affectionate or telling someone he cared for them. It was extremely commonplace for Dad to tell us how much he loved us and how gorgeous we were in his eyes. Although in our younger, more awkward years, we may have scoffed at such compliments, we never had to go long without receiving such necessary and genuine praise. Dad worked so hard to give us everything we ever dreamt of, little did he know he did that everyday just by being him.
Many times since losing my Dad I have felt so lost and without direction. Where do I go now? What do I do now without the anchor of his knowledge and his faith in me. It’s like being lost at sea or something…. Feeling as though my sails have been removed and I am drifting further and further without help or guidance. But as I keep moving forward, making decisions and creating new layers of my life I realize that my Dad spent the last 32 years of my life filling my boat with all the tools I will ever need for a truly successful voyage.
My job now, is to rely on what he has taught me, have faith and always ask my self – WWDD (what would Dad do).