Here I Am

It has been such a long time since I have sat down to write. Well to be honest, I have sat down to write — it just seems I have had trouble putting the last few months of my life into words. Even that statement sounds dramatic, but it hasn’t been an easy period that is for sure!

To begin with I made a huge career change and headed back to a company I worked for almost five years ago. The hours are predictable and the work environment is really conducive to this stage in my life. I had kept in touch with so many people there and it has proven to be exactly what I needed – a place to regain my confidence, a safe place to land and a supportive environment to succeed.

My very brave Dad and his love – my Mom.

As many people close to me know, my Dad has been dealing with some ongoing health issues for the better part of the last two years. It all came to ahead when we were paired up with a renowned orthopedic surgeon at Sunnybrook Health Centre in Toronto.  To give you some very QUICK background my Dad had suffered two failed shoulder replacement surgeries here in St. Catharines and had developed a potentially life-threatening infection. Our new surgeon at Sunnybrook began the extensive journey to repair the damage and get my Dad’s health back in good standing.

Since December of 2017 (yes just over two months) my Dad has undergone 4 major surgeries.  One of which was to fix a random perforated vein that was bleeding out through his almost-healed shoulder incision. He has spent countless weeks in Sunnybrook recovering and a few days in the hospital here. Our family has literally been through hell this winter but now that he is home again, as of two days ago, we are hoping that he is finally on the road to good health and a new normalcy.

Throughout my Dad’s medical journey I have found myself feeling hopeful only to have the rug pulled out from under me with another setback. Every day we have had to put our complete trust and faith in our doctors and nurses and specialists that they are doing the absolute best they can with my Dad. And believe me it is not easy.

I am an Aries through and through. Google the characteristics of an Aries and you might as well just find my picture alongside the results. Independent, courageous, impulsive, impatient. You can probably assume that leaning on other people isn’t our strongest suit. Anyone who knows me well knows that I pride myself on being reliable and stable – the person you can ALWAYS count on no matter what – I will always come through, I will always deliver. Yet here we are, my Dad and I, both Aries of course, completely and utterly leaning on other people with our vulnerability in full view for the world to see.

There are always a million life lessons flying at you from all different directions your entire adult life. Articles and television and blogs – everyone giving you every bit of knowledge you could ever need. As my 31st birthday draws closer, more and more I am encountering situations where I have no guidebook. I’m relying more and more on my intuition and my gut instinct. And truthfully – that has become more valuable than any wisdom I could receive from anyone else.


One thought on “Here I Am

  1. You are an amazing young woman! This is so beautifully written. Your parents always speak so very highly of you. I am so proud to have shared a part of your life with you. Love, Jean

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